Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Last blogged @ 3:06 PM

I miss Dance so badly, it's just useless and boring lazing around at home like that, with nothing to keep my motivation going. My dance shoes are still pretty and pink for a month, and I bet i wouldn't be able to fit into my tights anymore.

Sometimes I wonder how far can dance bring me to in future. It's not as if i've some ballet degree, or not as if i'm amazingly flexible. It's also not as if i'm gonna enter some dance school or something. I wonder, I really have no idea why God placed me in dance. But i thank Him for it. Because I somehow have this sense of belonging, this happiness in me with my great friends.

Actually, i'm enjoying myself a lot. Despite all that long hours of panting and muscle aches, I kinda look forward to it each time. At least i found something i liked doing, i felt like i've a responsiblity towards it. I always asked my mum why didn't she sign me up to attend ballet classes when I was young, I never got a proper reply.

I envy those people who have like a gift for dancing, given by God. I don't know, it's like every spin and every jump they do just look beautiful. But when I try to do it, it just looks freaking awful.

There are times when i'd look at myself in the mirror, looking at the reflection. At first, i'd start blaming Dance for making my legs look ugly. All muscular and manly, and have this fear of wearing short dresses or shorts.

But one day, this sudden thought or statement came to me. It went something like that, " Why do you care and mind so much of how you look? At least you enjoyed doing it, in this case, dancing. Dancing for God. "

It seems like i'm living in self denial at that time, but the first night of Radix proved that thought right. We were bonded, we were united, we put in our very best and it was all because of God's grace that everything went well.

Hey there.
This won't be long, I promise.
Jermaine
15
Singapore
Christian
♥ Tat.

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